Even if I’m no longer big on resolutions, I do so enjoy a fresh start. Like when I do my favourite (consumerist) thing in the world and buy a beautiful new blank notebook – the promise of possibility of what it will be filled with is almost too gorgeous to contemplate. Will it nurture ideas for a new book? A film? A plan to build an eco bungalow outside Dhaka city?
Because we have just entered the new year, and your head may still be hurting a little, I will keep this post short and share some of my favourite thoughts on daring by other people.
(I have been collecting quotes for my own amusement and inspiration for decades. I’m so pleased this geeky compulsion is coming in use and I get to share them through this blog.)
Why dare at all?
Because, as Kevin Costner’s character in Rumor Has It tells Jennifer Aniston’s character: Without adventure, life is just a bunch of boring Tuesdays strung together.
We must dare. Dare to believe we deserve more. Dare to say no. Dare to say yes. Most of all, dare to be aligned with the truth inside.
Dare to love, dare to be happy, dare to change, dare to be hurt even. Because, as Brené Brown says in her Power of Empathy talk:
‘We can only love and be loved as much as we are willing to have our hearts broken.’
When we shrink from fear of being hurt, I always ask: where do we draw the line? Do we not meet people because they may hurt us? Do we keep ourselves armoured until we’re sure we can trust them – and then be amazed that they can still crush us?
Hence: dare. We never know. We never will know. We can never be sure. But to not dare guarantees a life lived in shadows.
I did this. It pains me for just how long I did it too. Eventually, I wrapped myself around these words by Eve Ensler from her TED talk:
‘When we give in the world what we want the most, we heal the broken part inside each of us. […] Happiness exists in action, it exists in telling the truth, and saying what your truth is, and it exists in giving away what you want the most.’
Dare to open the heart. Dare to be the one who loves first. Dare to believe everything comes back in a way that works out just right.
An amazing life is not one that’s void of errors, but one where a blunder leads to a revelation and a readjustment; where a misunderstanding brings deeper understandings of ourselves and the human condition.
To strive to be our best selves is our highest calling. And we cannot do that unless we go a little further than before by daring.
What really stops us? In the top three is probably fear of judgment. For anyone unable to shake this off, hear out Martha Beck:
‘An elderly friend taught me the ’20-40-60′ rule, which I believe will apply as long as humans are narcissistic. When you’re 20, you’re obsessed with what people think about you; when you’re 40, you stop caring so much what people think about you; and when you’re 60, you realise no one was ever thinking about you.’
Go bravely into 2014!
Related Recommendations in Films:
Dare to believe you can change yourself: The Lost Weekend, directed by Billy Wilder.
Dare to get the answers you need: Dragon Tattoo Trilogy, directed by Niels Arden Oplev and Daniel Alfredson.
Dare to believe you’ll create The Beatles: Nowhere Boy, directed by Sam Taylor Wood.